Dealing with office jerks

We have all had to deal with difficult people in the office, be they bosses or peers. Will understanding the reasons for their obnoxious behaviour help to reduce the pain of workplace conflicts? That is what some managers and coaches are betting on, according to this report in The Wall Street Journal, which was reproduced in Mint today.

Here are some excerpts:

Amid a growing focus on workplace quality, some managers and coaches are now using new techniques to identify the childhood origins of harmful behaviour at work and then rout out those patterns through training or outright bans on bad behaviour.

Sylvia LaFair, a White Haven, Pennsylvania, leadership coach and psychologist, has identified 13 different patterns of office behaviour—and the family dynamics that likely shaped them. Among the types are the “persecutor” who micromanages or abuses others. This person often grew up with abuse or neglect. The “denier” pretends problems don’t exist; this person may have grown up in a family where everyone feared facing unpleasant emotions. “Avoiders” are aware of problems but won’t talk about them. In a tense situation, their mantra is, “Gotta go!” “Avoiders” often grew up in judgmental families with weak emotional ties, Dr LaFair says.

The “super-achiever” is driven to excel at everything, breeding resentment by walking over other people. They were often called on in childhood to make up for family shame or tragedy. Another type, the “martyr”, does his or her work and everybody else’s too, but drives co-workers away by complaining, she says. The “martyr” often had parents who gave up their dreams for the child, triggering a repeat of the pattern. Dr LaFair documents the various patterns in a 2009 book, Don’t Bring It To Work.

Do you recognise yourself? Or a colleague?

Read the whole article here. It could help you.