How do you deal with a boyfriend who scampered off with a hottie, was dumped by her, and now wants you to take him back? What do you say to him?

This is just one of the many awkward situations for which light-hearted but sensible advice is dispensed by Philip Galanes in his popular New York Times column, Social Q's. What would you do, really? Here's what Galanes has to say:

That old-time gent who talked about turning the other cheek was definitely on to something, especially where Botox and other injectables are concerned. Tolerating errors in others is merely good sense, prone as we are to screw-ups ourselves.

But now that you know what your beau is made of, be careful (nay, hesitant) about taking him back. Losing a boyfriend, to paraphrase Oscar Wilde, is a misfortune; losing him twice looks like carelessness.

Don't you just love that punchline?

Here are a few questions (some have been abbreviated here for reasons of space) that you may find yourself asking one day. Check out the advice offered by Galanes in each instance:

• What is the appropriate amount of time to take off from work when a pet dies?

• A good friend makes a habit of placing her cellphone on the table whenever we invite her to dinner. She answers text messages and plays games throughout our meals. I have tried to dissuade her by using humor. It hasn’t worked. She says we all have annoying traits, and real friends overlook them. How should I handle this the next time she breaks out the phone?

• A friend who was morbidly obese lost a considerable amount of weight, which greatly improved her appearance. I complimented her on her weight loss and told her how great she looked. But I was mortified when she replied that she’d lost the weight because of a terrible disease.

• A friend signs her text messages to me, “Love, Susie.” I feel as if a gun is being held to my head and guilty that I don’t return her love or her signoff. What to do? 

  Read other Social Q's columns here.

Thou shalt follow these 10 commandments to be effective — and successful — at work

The best advice on workplace behaviour that I have ever read comes from Mary M. Mitchell, who heads an executive training consultancy, The Mitchell Organization. The company, which is based in Seattle, is dedicated to the credo that good manners create good relationships, and good relationships create good business.

MARY M. MITCHELL

Last month, Mitchell wrote a feature for Reuters, which was titled "The 10 Commandments of Business Behaviour".

Mitchell opens her article with an appropriate quote from the late American tycoon, John D. Rockefeller: "I will pay more for the ability to deal with people than any other skill under the sun."

And then she explains, while outlining her 10 Commandments, the impact your interpersonal skills have on your ability to do your job.

Here are Mitchell's 10 Commandments:

1. Thou shalt have a positive attitude.

2. Thou shalt be on time.

3. Thou shalt praise in public and criticise in private.

4. Thou shalt get names straight.

5. Thou shalt speak slowly and clearly on the telephone.

6. Thou shalt not use foul language.

7. Thou shalt dress appropriately.

8. Thou shalt take clear messages.

9. Thou shalt honour social courtesies at business functions.

10. Thou shalt be accountable.

The point about having a positive attitude (I have to say here that I have problems on this score sometimes) is deservingly No. 1. Everybody has bad days, Mitchell writes, but...

... nobody has the right to take it out on others. Rudeness, impoliteness, surliness, ugly moods, unprovoked displays of anger, and general unpleasantness can be costly to your career — and your company's bottom line.

I am glad, too, that Mitchell has made it clear with Commandment No. 6 that there is no place for foul language in the workplace. Back in January last year, I had written about this issue on The Reading Room (What is the need to turn the air blue?). Now, in her article, Mitchell points out that vulgarity, poor grammar, and use of slang are three of the top reasons people don't get hired. That should give many people out there, especially freshers on the threshold of employment, some serious pause for thought.

Mitchell also discusses another issue that I consider to be very important — dressing appropriately:

Don't enter your workplace without knowing its dress code. If you must, call the human resources department and ask. Good grooming is at least 10 times more important than making a fashion statement. Good taste and fashion are not always synonymous.

There's lots of good advice here. Read the article in its entirety — "The 10 Commandments of Business Behaviour" — and think hard about how you will apply these guidelines.