"8 small things you do that people use to judge your personality"

Yes, you will be judged on whether you are punctual, whether you arrive in time for class, for a date, for a meeting. But did you know you will also be judged on how you treat waiters? And where you look when you drink out of a cup?

Business Insider India has helpfully made a list of eight small things we do that people use to judge us. Here's the list:

1. Your handshake
2. Whether you show up on time
3. How you treat restaurant staff
4. Where you look when you drink out of a cup
5. Whether you bite your nails
6. Your handwriting
7. How often you check your phone
8. Whether you make eye contact

You can read this topical feature in its entirety here.

"What's with the attitude, Gen-Y?"

That's not me asking the question (though, I must admit, it has been at the back of my mind for some years now) but a member of Gen-Y himself, someone who is at pains to understand why some young people behave the way they do. Read on...

I was startled out of my early morning reverie today by this Facebook message I received from a young man I admire deeply for his intelligence, his sense of humour, and his abiding commitment to his profession:

Is it just me acting senile or is the level of professionalism among the younger generation reaching appalling depths?

   
Here is the conversation we had via Facebook later in the day (this is an edited transcript; the young man, who is in his late twenties, shall remain unnamed for obvious reasons. I have labelled him Mr X below):

RP: Read my "accusations". THE READING ROOM: What happens when a crusty old journalism teacher takes on Gen-Y?

In the same post, read all the comments, too. By the way, what brought this on? And aren't you part of THIS generation?
 
Mr X: Hahaha! I meant the men and women a couple of years younger than me...
 
RP: Ah. Anyway, what brought this on?

Mr X: I've been watching plenty of them trooping in and out of office. All the same. Lackadaisical, lazy... and ARROGANT! I'm sure they're all not like this. But the ones I've seen... shocking.

RP: Do read my "accusations" and the comments in that post. And forward the link to youngsters who might benefit from reading it all.

Mr X: It's stupid little things — bunking work on a Monday because of an upset stomach (read hangover), walking into meetings late, leaving work undone...

RP: Yes. Do my "accusations" make sense now? Many youngsters I know thought I was being too harsh.

Mr X: Yes. Just read the article. All your accusations make sense. And yes, when I collared a first year here about this stuff, he seemed amazed. And then he bunked the next day because of a headache. And I think one comment in that article sums it all up. The one about disregarding traffic rules in order to be in class on time! Just one example. Pitch morning. Real pitch. For one of the biggest brands in India. Everyone's been in office all night, for nights on end. Meeting starts at 10. Hardly anyone leaves for fear of being late. Everyone is supposed to be in the office by 8. And everyone is there. Except for one of the newest, most junior employees.  He walks in at 9.50. Now no one wants a distraction before the meeting. So nothing is said.
 
RP: And...
   
Mr X: Later, in the evening, I ask him about it. His reply, I kid you not: I need my 8 hours! I thought he was joking. But he wasn't. That's like a journalist walking into office late on the day of the election results! Which is exactly what I told him. His reply to that: That's why I didn't become a journalist! Mr X 0, New Guy 2.
 
RP: Ouch!

Mr X: The sad part is, in a profession like advertising, these guys will get clobbered sooner or later. Because these things get noticed. And everyone thinks advertising is this cool profession where anything goes. Well, that's only if you're brilliant. And these youngsters are nowhere near that yet. It's not like they aren't good at their jobs. But stuff like this takes away from that. I'm sure when you started out, you wouldn't dream of walking out of office before your bosses left.

RP: There was no question of walking out till the job was done. Period.
   
Mr X: Exactly. And they're dumb! One of them uploaded a picture of a party. On a day when he was too sick to even answer calls!
 
RP: Is there a solution? Can attitude be taught? What do you think?
   
Mr X: Hahaha!

• Mr X did not want this conversation to be made public. But he was persuaded by my argument that his comments would be taken more seriously than mine since he is a member of Gen-Y himself. Thank you, Mr X.

Learn from a CEO: How to work with a jerk

Some two years ago, I published a Reading Room post that discussed the problems of dealing with a boss from hell.

But it is not only a bad boss who can  make you miserable.

What about your colleagues? How do you work with a colleague who is a jerk?

Dave Kerpen tells us how. Kerpen, whose career tips I have featured in this space before, is a LinkedIn "influencer" and I have been "following" him for some time now. Today my Gmail in-box contained an alert about Kerpen's latest post, which offers, I think, sensible workplace advice.

Here are Kerpen's suggestions for making working with a jerk easier:

• Seek to understand where the jerk is coming from
• Shower the jerk with positivity
• Talk to others and consider your options

And he elaborates on each point in his post. Read it here.

• Dave Kerpen has another thought-provoking column, this one published on the Inc. website. Check it out today: "How to Get Everything You Want. Seriously."

What should you wear to a job interview? And then once you have a job, what should you wear to work?

Learn some dress sense from reading this no-nonsense post by Dave Kerpen, an American CEO who is also a New York Times best-selling author and keynote speaker.

Kerpen, whose blog has been featured before in this space, writes that, at a job interview, you should dress comfortably and (at most) a little more formally than the rest of the office.

At a job interview, you're trying to show the organisation that you'd fit in there. If you show up dressed casually and everyone else is dressed more formally, you won't fit in. That's the easy part that everyone gets. But equally true is the converse: If you show up as a man in a three-piece suit or as a woman in a formal pantsuit, and everyone else there is casual, you also won't be fitting it. If a job applicant to one of our companies comes in a suit and tie, it shows that he didn't research the culture of our office — and it counts as a strike against him. Why take that risk?

As for what you should wear at work, read the post in its entirety: "How to dress for success today".

How to impress your boss, wow your colleagues, and get everyone to like you

We all want to be liked. Especially at work, which is where we spend most of our productive waking hours, interacting with our colleagues and bosses and clients.

But what can we do right that will get everyone to like us? And what are we doing wrong that causes people around us to not like us?

My advice to my students, when they start out in the industry, is to first get their peers and their bosses to warm up to them. I tell them they can do this by making intelligent conversation, by asking questions, by being assertive in a nice way, by showing an active interest in what's happening around them, by being lively. Of course, I am taking for granted that they are also good workers.

Now here's Jeff Haden writing in Inc. magazine about how you can make a good impression and how you can get people to genuinely like you. Haden has compiled a list of things that highly likeable people do and suggests you learn from them.

Haden says remarkably likeable people...

...lose the power pose (see picture below and read up about it in Haden's column)

...embrace the power of touch

...whip out their social jiu-jitsu

...whip out something genuine

...ask for nothing

..."close" genuinely

Read this highly relevant article in its entirety here: "6 Habits of Remarkably Likable People".

LOSING THE POWER POSE: BILL CLINTON GREETING NELSON MANDELA.

• Inc. styles itself as a magazine for entrepreneurs and business owners, but there is lots of interesting stuff on the website that will also appeal to people who are neither. Check out, for example, "9 Daily Habits That Will Make You Happier" and "10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day". And, also, "6 Things Really Productive People Do" — this last piece is a must-read, I feel, for the many young people I know who find time-management to be their biggest problem.

• Speaking of time-management, here's a pertinent post by author and former Wall Street Journal coulmnist Alexandra Levit: "5 Work Habits to Break Today", including "being 10 minutes late for everything".

About to begin your first job? Or first internship? Here are 20 tips:

On June 1 last year Atul Chitnis, one of India's best-known technologists, posted a list of 20 tips on Twitter for people starting their first job that day. He wrote on his blog some months later that the list was partly or fully re-posted all across the web, but "people keep asking me for a link to the tips. So I guess I should post them here on my own blog as well".

Of the 20 tips, here are my favourites:

• This is not school/college. You won’t lose marks because you don’t know something. You WILL if you don’t say so!
   
• Don’t be afraid of stating an opinion — be afraid of NOT stating one. You could be wrong, but won’t know if you don’t pipe up!
   
• Employers aren’t really looking for a bunch of yes-(wo)men. But they aren’t looking for a bunch of revolutionaries, either.
   
• Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, especially if you are young. You will thank me for this advice.
   
• Dare to look beyond your given assignment. “Good enough” never is. 

And I wholeheartedly endorse what Chitnis says at the end:

• While you may ignore all my tips for your first job — don’t ever skip breakfast.

I have lost count of the number of times I have told my students that they should NEVER give breakfast a miss.

If you're about to begin your first job — or your first internship even — you should read all 20 of Chitnis's tips and then attempt to put them into practice.

• Thanks to Commitscion Jalaja Ramanunni (Class of 2009) for the link. 

• UPDATE (June 20, 2013): Here's how to answer that near-universal job interview question: WHY SHOULD WE HIRE YOU?

Thou shalt follow these 10 commandments to be effective — and successful — at work

The best advice on workplace behaviour that I have ever read comes from Mary M. Mitchell, who heads an executive training consultancy, The Mitchell Organization. The company, which is based in Seattle, is dedicated to the credo that good manners create good relationships, and good relationships create good business.

MARY M. MITCHELL

Last month, Mitchell wrote a feature for Reuters, which was titled "The 10 Commandments of Business Behaviour".

Mitchell opens her article with an appropriate quote from the late American tycoon, John D. Rockefeller: "I will pay more for the ability to deal with people than any other skill under the sun."

And then she explains, while outlining her 10 Commandments, the impact your interpersonal skills have on your ability to do your job.

Here are Mitchell's 10 Commandments:

1. Thou shalt have a positive attitude.

2. Thou shalt be on time.

3. Thou shalt praise in public and criticise in private.

4. Thou shalt get names straight.

5. Thou shalt speak slowly and clearly on the telephone.

6. Thou shalt not use foul language.

7. Thou shalt dress appropriately.

8. Thou shalt take clear messages.

9. Thou shalt honour social courtesies at business functions.

10. Thou shalt be accountable.

The point about having a positive attitude (I have to say here that I have problems on this score sometimes) is deservingly No. 1. Everybody has bad days, Mitchell writes, but...

... nobody has the right to take it out on others. Rudeness, impoliteness, surliness, ugly moods, unprovoked displays of anger, and general unpleasantness can be costly to your career — and your company's bottom line.

I am glad, too, that Mitchell has made it clear with Commandment No. 6 that there is no place for foul language in the workplace. Back in January last year, I had written about this issue on The Reading Room (What is the need to turn the air blue?). Now, in her article, Mitchell points out that vulgarity, poor grammar, and use of slang are three of the top reasons people don't get hired. That should give many people out there, especially freshers on the threshold of employment, some serious pause for thought.

Mitchell also discusses another issue that I consider to be very important — dressing appropriately:

Don't enter your workplace without knowing its dress code. If you must, call the human resources department and ask. Good grooming is at least 10 times more important than making a fashion statement. Good taste and fashion are not always synonymous.

There's lots of good advice here. Read the article in its entirety — "The 10 Commandments of Business Behaviour" — and think hard about how you will apply these guidelines.

When you're sickened by office politics...

...often the first thing you want to do is quit your job.

But you may want to do a rethink after reading what Tavishi Paitandy Rastogi has to say in Brunch, the Hindustan Times weekend magazine. "Don't quit! Just play the game" is her advice. And she explains how to do exactly that by outlining eight simple points with the help of corporate experts. Here are their tips:

1. Understand your surroundings
2. Keep your records straight
3. Play on the front foot
4. Keep up the good humour
5. Don't be part of a clique
6. Confront and communicate
7. No blame game
8. Your boss is no fool

Not surprisingly, the best advice comes from a journalist, Shalini Singh, who elaborates on Point No. 6:

Clear communication always cuts across office politics. Be transparent and back your arguments with solid facts. “Be polite, persuasive and firmly assertive when it comes to fighting for a ‘cause’. Also, if you need to clear misgivings, it is always advisable to confront the person one-on-one instead of sneaking to a senior. It bonds the team wonderfully,” says journalist Shalini Singh.

Read the article in its entirety here.

• By the way, Brunch is by far the best Sunday publication offered by any newspaper in the country. It is superbly edited, it is full of ideas, and it is beautifully designed. Hindustan Times does not have an edition in Bangalore, but I get to read Brunch every week only because it is supplied with Mint, and I'm grateful for that.

10 things you should not say to your boss (or to your journalism professor)

Your boss has just given you a job to do. Are you going to tell him, "I will try [to do this]"? Is your boss going to be happy with your response?

No, he won't. That is why you should put your brain in gear before opening your mouth when interacting with your boss. Sunanda Poduwal, writing in The Economic Times on Sunday, elaborates on the issue. She also provides a list of 10 things you should not say to your boss ("I will try" is on the list):

1. That's Not in My Job Description
2. I Can't Do This Task
3. I Just Never Got Around To It
4. I Don't Know How To Do It
5. I Am Overqualified For This
6. Sorry, I Missed That Point
7. I Need to Talk to You, It's Important
8. I Will Try
9. Don't Blame Me — It's Not My Fault
10. Why Do I Need To Do This? This is Stupid!

Each item on this list comes with an example. Read the feature in its entirety here.

• I would like to add No. 11: "I haven't had time to read your e-mail."

• And here's No. 12 from my perspective as a journalism professor: "I find reading a bore and writing a chore... but I want to be a media professional."

UPDATE (October 1, 2103): More than 1,400 comments (at the time of writing) have been posted already. So you may want to head on over and see what the fuss is all about: Seventeen young "bosses" — leaders from The Young Entrepreneur Council — talk about the worst thing they'd ever been told by their employees. Read this enlightening piece here: "17 Things You Should Never Say to Your Boss".

ADDITIONAL READING: "17 Things The Boss Should Never Say", by Dave Kerpen, an American CEO who is also a New York Times best-selling author and keynote speaker.

Dealing with a boss from hell can be, well, a hellish experience

I have been lucky at all the organisations I have worked with. I have only had nominal bosses because once they figured out I function best independently and that I produce results I was pretty much left to my own devices.

Though, when I look back, I think at least one of my direct reports must have labelled me a boss from hell because even though I played a big part in hiring her our relationship began going downhill not long after she joined the team — in my view she did not take kindly to being taught the ropes even though she was a novice at journalism, and since she could not be taught (she had been a schoolteacher before she switched professions) she could not perform and there were ugly arguments almost every day until she was transferred to another department. I am sure I, too, had a role to play in these developments and I was reminded of those days when I came across two instructive and enlightening features in last Monday's Mint.

In the first piece, Sulekha Nair lists five important no-nos for bosses:

1 Undermining employee confidence

2 Being biased

3 Humiliating team members in public

4 Making provocative personal remarks

5 Behaving unscrupulously

I think I may have been at fault concerning that first point, though I can probably justify my behaviour. Be that as it may, if you're in a position of leadership, and you want a productive and happy team, you should read "5 prejudices a boss should guard against" and take corrective steps if necessary.

On the other hand, younger employees, especially those in their first jobs, will have had to learn to deal with all kinds of bosses. And some of these experiences may have been nightmarish, to put it mildly.  What do you do if you're being hounded by a boss from hell? Writing in Mint, career coach Sonal Agrawal offers some helpful advice by giving the example of one of her clients, a banker whose boss was "the most overbearing, obstructive, conniving, insecure man in the banking industry (and this was the polite version)". Here's an excerpt:

Try to remember that the boss is a person and not a one-dimensional caricature of Dilbert’s pointy haired boss. So what was really the issue? Was it a one-off altercation? Or was the boss always abrasive? Did he flare up during stressful events? Was he under pressure professionally or personally? To analyse and understand his motivations and likely behaviour patterns was essential before taking any decisions.

If you are dealing with a boss who is making your life at work miserable, you may benefit from some of the insights presented in this article: "Are you being hounded by a boss from hell?"

• UPDATE (June 15, 2013): Here is a must-read piece by Vivek Wadhwa, a Stanford University scholar, which I happened to see on LinkedIn today: "How To Be Happy At Work — Despite That Jerk Boss".

• ON A RELATED NOTE, if you are a woman who is intent on getting ahead in the industry, you should read this book by internationally recognised executive coach Lois P. Frankel, Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make that Sabotage Their Careers. (By the way, according to the New York Times, this book offers pointers that work equally well for men and women.) Here's a relevant excerpt from the introductory chapter:

This book is a composite of nearly twenty-five years' experience as a coach, trainer, human resource professional, and psychotherapist. It's about the unique mistakes I see women make at work, the coaching suggestions I provide to help them take charge of their careers, and the ways in which women hold themselves back from achieving their full potential.

The mistakes described in each chapter are real, as are the accompanying examples.... The coaching tips at the end of each section are identical to the ones I provide to women around the world. Many of these women later report that the suggestions helped them get promoted, hired, a raise, more respect from their management and peers, or the confidence needed to start their own businesses.

• Afterwards, visit Lois P. Frankel's website to access, for free, some very useful career resources.

What is the need to turn the air blue?

I don't use abusive language in my personal or professional life. The F-word does pop up in my mind on rare occasions but I make sure it doesn't pop out of my mouth. I don't think that makes me a puritan or especially noble — far from it; this is a personal choice, nothing more.

Having said that, I have to say I am not sure I understand the need to turn the air blue. For many people, young and old, men and women, using swear words is perhaps like breathing. It is so natural that they are possibly not aware they're doing it. Some young people I know, both men and women, seem to be comfortable using the F-word even on Facebook. This is probably okay given that you're doing this within your circle of friends but have you thought about what happens when you use obscenities in the workplace?

Let me quote from How To Sell Yourself, by Ray Grose (Mint published excerpts from the book yesterday):

Some people can be offended by cursing or foul language, even if they don’t show it. Even people who use such language with their peers may find your use of such language to be disrespectful to them if you are their team member or their superior.

Others may be offended because your use of such language shows that you may expect them not to be offended. Even if they might not find the actual language offensive they might find your expectation about their response presumptuous. Since such language can damage your image, and because there is no need for an articulate person to use it, avoid it.

So while you may consider it "natural" and "fun" to use foul language, you should also consider the damage it can do to your reputation at work. And, as Ray Grose points out, if you are an articulate person, you can easily express yourself well without resorting to pyrotechnics, if you know what I mean. So cut it out. Please.

How To Sell Yourself also has useful advice on other examples of inappropriate workplace behaviour. Read up to know what's wrong with correcting a subordinate at work; while gossiping how much is too much; and why power matters when it comes to flirting.

Go to "Mind your language, get your image right".