There are Agony Aunts. And then there is "Dear Sugar", the most compassionate in-your-face advice columnist ever

She has been described as the perfect guide for those who have got lost in life.

For a few years, the blurb on the back of her book informs us, tens of thousands of people — the frightened, the anxious, the confused — turned to her.

And she responded with advice that "was spun from genuine compassion and informed by a wealth of personal experience — experience that was sometimes tragic and sometimes tender, often hilarious and often heartbreaking".

She went by the moniker "Sugar". The world now knows her as Cheryl Strayed. And a selection of her columns was recently made available in book form, a copy of which I have just bought on Amazon.in for the college library. On Goodreads, there are more than 6,400 ratings for Tiny Beautiful Things, and some 1,400 reviews — it's that popular.

HOW A WRITER WAS SAVED
Here is an excerpt (the last paragraph, actually) from a two-page letter written to Sugar by a woman reader who wants nothing more than to be a writer and to be recognised and appreciated for her talent but who fears she is not good enough:

How do I reach the page when I can't lift my face off the bed? How does one go on, Sugar, when you realise you might not have it in you? How does a woman get up and become the writer she wishes she'd be?

Sincerely,

Elisa Bassist

And here are the last few paragraphs from Sugar's six-page-long response:

Writing is hard for every last one of us — straight white men included. Coal mining is harder. Do you think miners stand around all day talking about how hard it is to mine for coal? They do not. They simply dig.

You need to do the same, dear sweet arrogant beautiful crazy talented tortured rising star glowbug. That you're so bound up about writing tells me that writing is what you're here to do. And when people are here to do that, they almost always tell us something we need to hear. I want to know what you have inside you. I want to see the contours of your second beating heart.

So write, Elisa Bassist. Not like a girl. Not like a boy. Write like a mother****er [asterisks mine].

Yours,

Sugar

You can read the letter as well as Sugar's advice in full here.

And you will want to know what happened to Elissa Bassist. Here is an excerpt from the FAQ on her website (yes, she is now a well-known writer):

Elissa Bassist is the editor of the Funny Women column on TheRumpus.net. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, NYMag.com, Slate, The Paris Review Daily, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Creative Nonfiction, Jezebel, The Daily Beast, Salon, The Rumpus, and most recently in Get Out of My Crotch, a collection of twenty-one writers responding to America’s war on women’s rights and reproductive health.

In April 2013, she contributed to Men’s Health, unlike every other month when she does the opposite. Elissa co-edited the anthology Rumpus Women, Volume I (published by The Rumpus Paper Internets) with Julie Greicius. Before moving to Brooklyn, she produced and co-hosted the Literary Death Match in San Francisco. 

And here you can read a conversation conducted by e-mail between Strayed and Bassist two years after that letter was published. In this conversation the two "revisit many of the themes from the original letter, and examine how their professional and artistic landscapes have changed".

As I noted in the headline, there are Agony Aunts. And then there is "Sugar".

• Interestingly, in the book, Sugar addresses a question most of us have about the many Agony Aunt columns in newspapers and magazines (and, of course, on the Web):

Q: Are the letters you publish really sent in by anonymous people? Most are so well written that it seems you or The Rumpus writers must be creating them.

A: The letters published in my column and in this book were sent to me by people who sought my advice. In most cases the name and/or e-mail address of the letter writer is not visible to me. I do not write the letters, nor does anyone at The Rumpus. Because I have thousands of letters from which to choose, well-written letters probably have a higher chance of being plucked from the pile simply because they are more concise and complex. I agree with you that the letters are lovely. I have even more in my inbox.

What I can't help thinking: Even here, good writing matters.

"The many lessons I learnt as an intern with a leading Bangalore newspaper." Plus: "Professionalism, the Commits way"

Commitscion Monalisa Das (Class of 2014) recently spent six weeks as an intern with Deccan Chronicle in Bangalore, working with the features section, Bengaluru Chronicle. Here she talks about the experience, and also discusses what it means to be a professional in a highly competitive industry (these two pieces were first published in The Commits Chronicle on April 28, 2013):

MONALISA DAS FLANKED BY HER COMMITS SENIOR TAPASYA MITRA MAZUMDER AND CLASSMATE RAJARSHI BHATTACHARJEE AT THE DECCAN CHRONICLE OFFICE.

The internship at Deccan Chronicle was my first working experience in the professional world, my first real stint with journalism. When I first began my internship I had a lot of inhibitions. I had never thought I’d be working on a tabloid; hard news was my thing. Part of me wasn’t even sure that I would be up to the mark. 

In fact, after almost a month with the paper, I was still learning, absorbing, and understanding the rules of the trade, the bottom line being “you need to be good at whatever you do”.
 
I was lucky to be working in an organisation where things happen the way they should. My editor is strict, I was warned. What I understood, and came to appreciate, was that she is not ready to compromise on quality. That is sacrosanct. I also learnt that no one is indispensable and you are doing no one a favour by working.

Let me share what I grasped during this stint.

First, you need to be sincere and dedicated to your work. As an intern, you can’t expect people to offer you the opportunity to cover big stories. Trust me, you aren’t ready. Besides, it’s always better to begin at the bottom of the ladder. Whatever work is given to you, show an interest; do not feign it. You might not get a byline — so what? Realise that your work is at least good enough to be published.
 
Second, and you must have heard this a billion times, you need to be on good terms with your colleagues. I was lucky to have such cooperative colleagues. As a journalist, you need to know lots of people — your colleagues are the ones who will provide you with your initial contacts. Be nice to your colleagues; ask for help when you have a doubt. But make sure you do not pester them and antagonise them. They have their own assignments to take care of, and they aren’t there to teach you. A little chat about things unrelated to work doesn’t hurt, though.
 
Third, social media is a journalist’s friend. When I reached a dead end regarding a contact I needed urgently, Facebook was my saviour. Friends of friends of friends usually know someone you are looking for. In my case, I can’t but not mention Sneha Sukumar, my classmate. She somehow always happened to know people related to my story. Call it luck or coincidence!

MONALISA'S STORY ON THE FRONT PAGE OF BENGALURU CHRONICLE ON APRIL 27.

When you work in the features section of a daily newspaper, you get to talk to a lot of famous people (and many not-so-famous ones, too). The glamour wears off after some time. A lot of hard work is involved, after all. Every column that you see in print is a well-thought-out process. Another important lesson: Be prepared if people do not want to talk to you or are rude. No one gives a darn about your story. They have work to do. Be polite, be courteous at all times.

One of my bosses called me “Smarty” because I once went to her with a story idea that had already been covered. Afterwards, before I submitted a story idea, I made sure it hadn’t been done before. How did I do that? I read. Like crazy. Because ideas aren’t as easy to come by as Abhishek Bachchan makes it seem in the TV commercials. And I read everything from The Huffington Post to the Guardian and Bangalore Mirror. You never know what will work. You need to keep looking, only then will you get what you want.

I usually worked on a lot of columns, snippets, and a story that became the second lead once in a while. I got only one day off in the week but I did not complain. Because when I saw my name in the papers, I knew it was worth it. When people asked if I liked the work, I said I did. It was definitely not a bed of roses, but then roses are so not me.

PROFESSIONALISM, THE COMMITS WAY
When you work in the industry, you come to know that Commits has a well-deserved reputation. Commitscions are expected to be smart, dedicated, and hardworking individuals. Anything less is just not acceptable. When you are working in a professional environment for the first time in your life, it might be a little difficult to live up to those standards. So how do we beat the odds?

We learn most of it in class. And by learn I do not mean mugging up from textbooks. We are taught how to work and behave like professionals. Slowly and steadily, we imbibe “professionalism”. From maintaining 100 per cent attendance to being punctual, from adhering to deadlines to juggling multiple roles, each is a step towards a better us. For some this can be achieved only through conscious effort; others just fit in.

Day in and day out, we attend classes tirelessly. We crib now and then and we often pay fines for certain transgressions. Presentations and assignments are a way of life. Social life is a distant dream. But just as every cloud has a silver lining, when you peer through the gloom, you will find light.

MONALISA WITH RAJARSHI: ALL THOSE HOURS SPENT AT THE GRINDSTONE PAID OFF.

Most of us suffered stage fright before we came to Commits. Today we do not just speak up, we often surprise. At the risk of sounding immodest, I would like to add here that I received some lovely compliments for my speech during our vice-chancellor’s recent visit to Commits.

In a way, all those hours spent at the grindstone pay off. Our teachers are the best we have, and all those assignments and presentations later, we do appreciate their efforts.

Today, almost a year into our Commits journey, most of us are sure about our career choices. Being clear in your mind is a good feeling. Some of us, however, will always be the confused kind. But it just gives us more options to explore. We are smart and skilled individuals. We are future competition for other professionals as well, confident in the belief that we can thrive and be successful in almost any field.

I am not sure I would have done better if I wasn’t from Commits.

• ALSO READ: "10/10 for a newspaper story written by an intern from Commits".

• PLUS: "How to have a successful AVC-related internship" and "How to have a successful MMC-related internship".

When a journalist is too close to a story, it is not a good thing. Here's why

On his Guardian blog on Monday, Roy Greenslade wrote about the Charles Saatchi-Nigella Lawson throat-grabbing episode.

Greenslade, a former newspaper editor, professor of journalism at London's City University, and media commentator, appeared to play down the incident in his post. And instead of upbraiding Saatchi, Greenslade chose to pass sly comments about the newspaper that printed the graphic pictures of Saatchi repeatedly grabbing his wife by the throat in a London restaurant.

Read the post here: "Nigella Lawson and Charles Saatchi: story behind a red-top scoop".

(The term "red tops", as defined by Wikipedia, refers to tabloids with red nameplates, such as The Sun, the Daily Star, the Daily Mirror ... and distinguishes them from the Daily Express and Daily Mail. Red top newspapers are usually simpler in writing style, dominated by pictures, and directed at the more sensational end of the market.)

The very next day, Greenslade published what he referred to as a red-faced apology:

The post began:

I am mortified to think that people viewed my posting yesterday about Charles Saatchi and Nigella Lawson as some kind of defence of domestic violence. That was not my intention at all.

However, after so many e-mails — not to mention much outrage on Twitter — I concede that I expressed myself very badly indeed.

And towards the end of the short post comes the lesson all journalists will do well to heed:

Sometimes one is too close to a story, and this is the irony: I was clearly over-compensating for the fact that I have been a friend of Nigella's ever since we were colleagues on the Sunday Times more than 20 years ago.

In order to be scrupulously fair about the incident, showing no favour to a friend, I went way in the wrong direction. I therefore owe her apologies. And I apologise also to all those, including several Guardian colleagues, who thought I'd taken leave of my senses.

Read the mea culpa here: "Nigella Lawson and Charles Saatchi: why I called it wrong..."

Quotes from books, quotes by writers... to inspire, influence, and induce a new way of thinking-3

This was published in the June-July 2013 issue of Books & More magazine:

BOOKMARKS

Quotes from books, quotes by writers... to inspire, influence, and induce a new way of thinking/RESEARCHED AND COMPILED BY RAMESH PRABHU 

“The lessons one learns at school are not always the ones that the school thinks it is teaching.”
— Salman Rushdie, in his memoir Joseph Anton

*
“When they’re young, they step on your toes… when they grow up, they step on your heart.”
— “Charlie Brown” telling “Lucy” what his grandmother — “quite a philosopher” — says about children, in You’re a Winner, Charlie Brown!, by Charles Schulz

*
“Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”
— American comedian George Carlin in When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

*
“Perhaps only a truly discontented child can become as seduced by books as I was. Perhaps restlessness is a necessary corollary of devoted literacy.”
— Journalist and author Anna Quindlen in her bestseller, How Reading Changed My Life

*
“Art is what you can get away with.”
— Pop art pioneer Andy Warhol, quoted in The Form of Things: Essays on Life, Ideas, and Liberty in the 21st Century, by A.C. Grayling

*
“A smooth sea never produced a skilful navigator.”
— C.D. Narasimhaiah, founder-editor-publisher of the 60-year-old journal, The Literary Criterion, on his attitude to the obstacles he overcame to keep the publication going, quoted in a recent article in The Hindu (CDN died in 2005)

*
“I would sooner be bored by Proust than amused by any other writer.”
— British playwright, novelist, and short-story writer Somerset Maugham, in Ten Novels and Their Authors, expressing his admiration for Marcel Proust’s magnum opus, In Search of Lost Time

*
“If we think to regulate printing we … must regulate all recreations and pastimes.” (In other words, other liberties depend on a free press.)
— English poet John Milton, best known for the epic Paradise Lost, in a 17th-century polemic against press licensing, quoted in The Economist

*
“He is a kind of literary equivalent of an electron — forever there and not there.”
— Bill Bryson, best-selling American author of humorous books on travel, as well as books on the English language and on science, in Shakespeare: The World as Stage, lamenting that we know so little of Shakespeare’s life

• Also read: Quotes from books, quotes by writers... to inspire, influence, and induce a new way of thinking-2

10/10 for a newspaper story written by an intern from Commits

Commitscion Natasha Rego (Class of 2014) lived up to my expectations (and perhaps exceeded hers) when she filed this brilliant story for Mumbai's Afternoon Despatch & Courier, the newspaper I helped to launch in March 1985.

Natasha, who is a co-editor of the college newspaper, worked as an intern with the Afternoon for six weeks over April-May and earned her first byline with this story about the "bottle bulbs" that are lighting up the lives of the city's slum-dwellers.

When I first read the article after she had sent me the link, I wrote back:

What a FAN-TAS-TIC story, Natasha! From idea to execution to presentation, I give it 10/10.

NATASHA REGO

And then I asked her a few questions to understand better how she got the idea for the story in the first place and how she went about getting the facts and putting them together:

• How did you get the idea?

Facebook, of course. Although many ideas have come to me when I take extensive walks around this city, I chose to work on this one because I related to the girls about whom I wrote, and it was a slum story (I've been wanting to enter a slum since I arrived and this seemed like a perfect opportunity).

• How did you go about working on it?

I read everything on the girls' website and Facebook page, especially the press coverage that they've received in the past. I found that it told a one-sided story — that of the girls. I wanted to try and tell one that included the people who benefited from the work of the organisation.

• What were the obstacles and how did you overcome them?

Language — my biggest drawback in Mumbai. But the girls that I went to the slum with translated for me, and a surprisingly large number of people spoke English.

• What was the contribution of your bosses and colleagues?

Sub-editor and colleague Prasad Madhukar Patil pushed me to submit my photos and write stories after he saw my editing work.

When I asked Deputy News Editor Robin Shukla what I should keep in mind when I went out to cover this story, considering it was going to be my first, he gave me some good advice. He said not to be influenced by anything in the reports that I had read, and to give it my own "new" perspective, because I'm so new to the city.
 
Editor-in-Chief Carol Andrade had the final say, of course. I think she liked it.

• What has the feedback been — from colleagues, from readers, from those featured in the story?

One of my bosses said that this is the kind of stories the newspaper should be doing.

• What was your reaction to seeing your story in print?

I did not go to work the day they processed this issue, so I didn't know it was going to get a full page. Walking to work the next day, I picked up an issue to find that it was spread over page 5 and had a border to make it stand out...like it was a special story. My sub-editor boss later told me that he told the page designers to put the border in.

Natasha, who is a discerning and savvy photographer, too, later published another interesting feature in the Afternoon. This one concerns an unsung organisation that teaches art to slum children. Read it here: "Everyone is an artist. No conditions apply!" (The photographs that accompany this piece, as well as the article on the "bottle bulbs", were shot by Natasha.)

• Commitscions, our brand ambassadors, have done well for themselves in the media industry and they have done us proud, too. Here are just a few of the many stories written by those who have become, or will become, journalists:

1. An excellent example of an interview-based local feature (Dipankar Paul, Class of 2009)

2. Gutsy Commits student's story in Bangalore Mirror — an inspiration to women everywhere (Ankita Sengupta, Class of 2013)

3. "My mum has my FB password. Big deal" (Sonakshi Nandy, Class of 2014)

4. Asha Bhosle: The Eternal Indian Idol — scroll down to "An interview with Asha Bhosle in Kuwait" (Priyanka Saligram, Class of 2009)

5. Reading Made Easy — Why Just Books Libraries Work (Nilofer D'Souza, Class of 2009)

6. Jet lag is for amateurs (Ayesha Tabassum, Class of 2007)

...and, finally, a Page 1 story in yesterday's Bangalore Mirror by Tapasya Mitra Mazumder (Class of 2013), who only joined the newspaper five days ago:

You can read Tapasya's report here. Well done, all!

• ALSO READ: "The many lessons I learnt as an intern with a leading Bangalore newspaper. Plus: Professionalism, the Commits way".

UPDATE (August 11, 2013): Natasha Rego and some of the photographs she made when she was in Mumbai were the subject of a "Diary" item in The Afternoon yesterday:

Read the item here: "Picture Perfect!" (go to Page 3)

An inspiration for young journalists and media aspirants everywhere

At two weeks short of 30, Amol Rajan (pictured) has been appointed editor of a leading British newspaper, The Independent.

And look at his pedigree, as outlined in a Guardian profile by the newspaper's media correspondent:

Described by colleagues as politically astute and progressive-minded, Rajan possesses a number of traits favoured by [proprietor Evgeny] Lebedev in his youthful senior editorial team....

A keen cricket fan, Rajan is the author of a 2011 book on the sport called Twirlymen: The Unlikely History of Cricket's Greatest Spin Bowlers. He is also a devoted foodie, writing a restaurant column for the Independent on Sunday and appearing as a judge on BBC1's MasterChef in April.

After graduating from Cambridge, Rajan worked briefly for the London Evening Standard before moving to Channel 5. Two years later, he joined the Independent as a news reporter, later moving on to stints as sports news correspondent, assistant comment editor and deputy comment editor.

What a terrific track record that is! Surely, Amol Rajan is an inspiration for young journalists and media aspirants everywhere.

• Read the Guardian profile here: New Independent editor makes Fleet Street history

But, as the Guardian's assistant comment editor writes, Rajan will have his work cut out for him. Read the article here: "It's great to see an ethnic minority editor of a British newspaper. I hope his appointment sends a message to the rest of the media".

• Since we are talking about editors, it will be interesting to get some insights into how the top honcho at one of the world's great newspapers goes about his job: "Editor Bill Keller on how The New York Times chooses Page 1 stories".

When I want friendly and learned voices to give me advice...

...on which book to read and why I should read it, I turn to my two prized possessions:

and

• CLIFTON FADIMAN (May 15, 1904 – June 20, 1999), co-author of, and the motivating force behind, The New Lifetime Reading Plan, was an American intellectual, author, editor, radio, and television personality. Here is an excerpt from his obituary in the New York Times:

He lost most of his sight as a result of acute retinal necrosis in his late 80s. But according to his daughter, Anne, also a writer, he continued to vet manuscripts for the Book-of-the-Month Club, as he had since 1944, by listening to unabridged tapes of the volumes in question especially recorded for him by his son Kim. He dictated his assessments to a secretary. He continued to participate, by way of conference calls, in the club's editorial board meetings until March.

While blind he brought out a new edition of The Lifetime Reading Plan, a guide done with John S. Major that was intended to introduce Americans to the classics of civilization, and he was the general editor of World Poetry: An Anthology of Verse From Antiquity to Our Time.

Late in his life the book world honoured him for his love of the printed word by awarding him the 1993 National Book Foundation Medal for Distinguished Contribution to American Letters.

• MICHAEL DIRDA, author of Classics for Pleasure, is a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist for The Washington Post Book World. For more details, visit his home page on the Washington Post website. And here you can access the Goodreads synopsis of Classics for Pleasure.

• Coincidentally, a book written by Clifton Fadiman's daughter, Anne, At Large and At Small, is another cherished possession in my library. 

• ALSO READ: "Lusting after books? Let this librarian help".

• ADDITIONAL READING: "Why you must read".

When you have two hours to shoot ace director James Cameron...

...for a National Geographic magazine cover, how do you do it?

This is how Marco Grob did it:

Read up on the fascinating details here: "Behind the Cover: June 2013".

• MORE FROM THE NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC:

A tribute to an amazing photo editor

Photography buffs will go nuts when they read these tips on the NatGeo website

How to get people to read — and appreciate — your Facebook posts

PLUS: Check out the National Geographic style guide, which comes highly recommended by  Mark Nichol, editor of the Daily Writing Tips blog: "This free online resource from the National Geographic Society doesn’t show up high in search rankings, but it’s an excellent resource. (And, seriously, have you ever seen a clumsy sentence, a grammatical error, or even a typo in National Geographic?) Unusually terse but clear entries are organised alphabetically, and the site includes a directory of new and altered entries and, especially helpful, one of terms and rules that contradict other authoritative resources or are exceptions to the norm."

"If you need me to motivate you, I probably don't want to hire you"

A few months ago, my good friend Monica Chauhan gave me a wonderful book as a gift. Drive, by Daniel H. Pink, offers the most cogent explanation of motivation I have read in a long, long time.

Here's an important excerpt from the book:

As organisations flatten [in terms of hierarchy], companies need people who are self-motivated. That forces many organisations to become more like open source projects. Nobody "manages" the open source contributors. Nobody sits around trying to figure out how to "motivate" them. That's why Linux and Wikipedia and Firefox work. ... One business leader, who didn't want to be identified, said it plainly: "If you need me to motivate you, I probably don't want to hire you."

Watch Daniel Pink expound on his theories at TED:

And, afterwards, think about buying the book. You can also visit Daniel Pink's website and sign up to receive his free e-mail newsletter (which is what I have done).

• ALSO READ: "How's this for INITIATIVE?"

What a great intro!

Only a journalist well-acquainted with the tools of her trade could have come up with this opening paragraph for a feature on rock 'n' roll's new rule book:

Roll over William Strunk, and tell E.B. White the news. The music business now has its own grammar guide that might have had the "Elements of Style" authors singing the blues.

Combine that intro with a headline to match and you have a winning combination. Who will not want to dive in?

Check out Hannah Karp's brilliant piece in the Wall Street Journal here: "Grammar Rocks: These New Punctuation Rules Are fo' Realz".

• Who are Strunk and White? Learn more about the style gurus here: "If you're serious about improving your writing skills...".