Thought-provoking definitions of maturity

Maturity is gratification delayed,
Self-confidence conveyed,
Opportunity parlayed,
Risk delayed,
Self-esteem displayed,
And self-denial repaid.

This quotation by Dr. Marlene Caroselli was judged the winner of the "Maturity Quotations Contest" organised by Dr. Mardy Grothe, about whom I have written before in The Reading Room.

Dr. Caroselli, who lives in New York, is an educator, speaker, trainer, and the author of over 60 books, including The Critical Thinking Tool Kit and Principled Persuasion. She will receive an autographed and personally inscribed copy of Dr. Grothe's 2011 book: Neverisms: A Quotation Lover's Guide to Things You Should Never Do, Never Say, or Never Forget.

The Silver Medal in the competition went to Jura Zymantas of Barcelona, Catalunya, Spain, who wrote:

Maturity is recognising your limitations
but not allowing them to limit your aspirations.

And the Bronze Medal went to Charles Rose of New Paltz, New York, who wrote:

Maturity is understanding that most of the hours in your life
are spent alone and you're not lonely.

The following quotations all received an "Honourable Mention" in the competition (there is an entry from India, too):

Maturity is ripening without rotting.
          Mary E. Armstrong (Colorado Springs, Colorado)

Maturity is recognizing not that one can BE wrong
but that one IS wrong.
          Will Aston-Reese (Staten Island, New York)

Maturity is when you don't lose your cool on having to suffer a fool.
          Dr. Nandini Bahri (Jamnagar, Gujarat, India)

Maturity is when you parent your parent successfully.
          Heather Chandler (Douglassville, Pennsylvania)

Maturity is recalling the outrageous things
your former spouse did to upset you,
then turning over and going to sleep.
          Eileen Dight (Harrisonburg, Virginia)

Maturity is teaching our big, grown-up, know-it-all adult self
how to nurture the child within.
          Robert Dixon (Emerald Hills, California)

Maturity is when your perspective changes
from being the sun around which everything revolves
to being a small planet in an infinite universe.
          Linda Donaldson (Hatfield, Pennsylvania)

A small part of maturity
is learning the difference between wants and needs.
A large part of maturity is acting on that knowledge.
          Bill Emmons (Houston, Texas)

Maturity is aging . . . while paying attention.
          Carl Henning (Phoenix, Arizona)

Maturity is when you handle the tasks of life without being ordered to,
and without whining.
          Dee Dee Longenecker (Austin, Texas)

Maturity is looking in the mirror and seeing the pilot of your destiny.
          Jean Lutz (Ponchatoula, Louisiana)

Maturity:
Doing what needs to be done
When it needs to be done
Whether you want to do it or not.
          Matt Murray (Charlottesville, Virginia)

Maturity is that quality without which we know everything —
including what maturity is."
          Alan Mynall (Oxford, England)

Maturity rises out of the smoke and ashes of an internal rebellion.
          Sharon Nakagawa (no location determined)

Maturity is doing what you have to do, when it ought to be done,
without complaint.
          Mike O'Rourke (Port Allen, Louisiana)

Maturity is when you can say no to yourself and yes to another.
          Hart Pomerantz (Toronto, Ontario, Canada)

Maturity is the belief in experience
coupled with the experience of belief.
          Jonathan Rose (Miami Beach, Florida)

Maturity is when you realise how essential the injustices you bore
were to who you became.
          Ron Simoncini (Ridgewood, New Jersey)

You know you've reached maturity when you finally realise it's best to
go ahead and buy that 12-pack of toilet paper instead of a roll or two.
          Mark Towns (Los Angeles, California)

Maturity is being on a stage whose immature curtains
are constantly limiting its performance.
          Lloyd Williams (Travelers Rest, South Carolina)

• This post is adapted from the weekly newsletter sent out by Dr. Mardy Grothe.

"U" vs "You"

OCCASIONAL RANT NO. 6:

Didn't I tell u it's a charmed life?

That's a sentence from the "Letter from the Editor" in the July 4 issue of Filmfare.

I am aghast that the editor, Jitesh Pillaai, has resorted to using SMS lingo. But this is Filmfare, so perhaps I should not be surprised.

How to boost your self-confidence

When you are about to embark on a new enterprise — for instance, if you have enrolled at Commits for the two-year full-time M.A. degree course in Mass Communications — you may feel anxious, nervous, antsy during the first few weeks.

Of course, this jitteriness is temporary. But, perhaps, that is no consolation in those overwrought early days. So is there something you can do to calm those nerves and restore your self-confidence? Yes, says Mary Mitchell, the founder of a U.S.-based executive training consultancy. Mitchell, who is the author of the "Modern Etiquette" column for Reuters, offers a list of five simple steps that you can take to up your confidence quotient:

1. Move.
2. Take a look at what you are wearing.
3. Breathe.
4. Be disciplined.
5. Give and receive.

Mitchell elaborates on each of these steps here: "Five suggestions for greater self-confidence".

Yesterday I sent out the link to Mitchell's column to our new students, whose Commits journey began just four days ago. Here are two responses I received soon after:

• These suggestions are indeed extremely useful and I will use all of them to increase my efficiency. I just loved the quotation with which the piece ended and I will definitely apply in my work what I have learnt from it. — DIYOTIMA ROY SINHA

• This article was really very helpful and motivating... and it is sure to help us in the long run. — NINNITA SAHA

Outstanding Indian women journalists who are also excellent role models

Shahnaz Anklesaria Aiyar Sreerekha B. Sheela Barse Sheela Bhatt Nilanjana Bose Tiamerenla Monalisa Changkija Neerja Chowdhury Sucheta Dalal Vinita Deshmukh Barkha Dutt Sabeena Gadihoke Charu Gargi Shohini Ghosh Pushpa Girimaji Rehana Hakim Bano Haralu Devaki Jain Sonu Jain Shikha Jhingan Shalini Joshi Sabina Kidwai Vasavi Kiro Madhu Purnima Kishwar Manimala Ranjani Mazumdar Patricia Mukhim Disha Mullick Rupashree Nanda Sunita Narain Sakuntala Narasimhan Sevanti Ninan Pamela Philipose Anita Pratap Alka Raghuvanshi Usha Rai Teesta Setalvad Kalpana Sharma Shubha Singh Tavleen Singh Priti Soni Chitra Subramaniam Annam Suresh Ratna Bharali Talukdar Shikha Trivedy Homai Vyarawalla

In addition to having worked on stories that have had an impact — and made a difference — all 46 women journalists in this list have one thing in common: They are all winners of The Chameli Devi Jain Award for Outstanding Women Mediapersons.

That is not all. Their stories of reportage have now been compiled in a book edited by veteran media professionals Latika Padgaonkar and Shubha Singh. Making News, Breaking News, Her Own Way is highly recommended reading for not only journalists, but also media students, especially young women, who aspire to be journalists.

• I have already bought a copy for the Commits library. But this is a book that you need to buy, place on your bookshelf, and read every time you need a fresh burst of inspiration.

Isn't there a difference between "who's" and "whose"?

OCCASIONAL RANT NO. 5:

The Times of India Crest Edition of June 30 features an interview with poet and author Jeet Thayil by Naomi Canton. Here's the paragraph I have a problem with:

"Sipping a glass of red wine in a French cafe amidst Oxford's dreaming spires where the production toured this week, the 52-year-old, who's first novel Narcopolis explores the drugs-filled underbelly of 1970s Mumbai, says: 'Don't these subjects interest you? They are in my top ten topics to write about, yes.' "

Doesn't anyone at the Times know the difference between "who's" and "whose"? How is it the subs did not catch the typo?

And while I am on the subject, why use "amidst" when "amid" will do?

An innovative and revolutionary short story series in "Mint Lounge"

Two weeks ago, one of my favourite weekend reads launched a fortnightly series on Indian poetry ("A serious attempt to give poetry the space it deserves").

Yesterday, in addition to publishing the second installment in the "Poetry Pradesh" series, Mint Lounge also featured an innovative and revolutionary short story column.

"Innovative" because the author, Kuzhali Manickavel, will write an original short story every month "inspired by prompts submitted by readers".

"Revolutionary" because, as far as I know, no publication has tried something as audacious before. Which story story writer is willing to risk his or her reputation in this manner? And which publication is willing to risk taking on the challenge of curating a series of this nature? Congratulations are in order, therefore, to both Manickavel and the editors of Mint Lounge.

Here is a short story in the series based on the prompt, "Flowers and other reproductive organs". Read it here: "To melt a snowman".

Want to submit your own prompt, which can be a word, phrase, quote, or brief idea? You can write to Manickavel at this e-mail address: shortstories@livemint.com. You can even tweet the prompt using the hashtag #kuzhalistories.

A question of illiteracy

OCCASIONAL RANT NO. 4:

Headline in the Economic Times, June 24 — "Why the big four Andhra Pradesh-based infrastructure companies GMR, GVK, Lanco & IVRCL are in trouble?"

That question mark at the end is a clear indication that an illiterate person was on duty on the ET desk that day. I have seen such headlines in regional newspapers, but in ET? This is a shocker.

That headline should have been written thus: "Why the big four Andhra Pradesh-based infrastructure companies GMR, GVK, Lanco & IVRCL are in trouble" (meaning, read this article to know why difficult times are looming for the four companies named).

OR, if a question mark was needed, thus: Why are the big four Andhra Pradesh-based infrastructure companies GMR, GVK, Lanco & IVRCL in trouble?

• Thank you, Ankana Sinha, for the alert.

Anurag Kashyap's tour de force

To truly appreciate — and understand — Gangs of Wasseypur and to prepare yourself to appreciate — and understand — the soon-to-be-released sequel, you need to watch the first part (and, presumably, Part 2, too) twice.

• The best review I have read of Gangs of Wasseypur is by Sanjukta Sharma in Mint. Here's an excerpt:

The director is at his pinnacle. Although much of the passage of years is unexplained and the middle slacks somewhat, Kashyap designs the film with such tenacious intelligence that we keep taking it all in. There aren’t many close-ups in the film, a tool usually used to hide the lack of thoughtful visualization. Every visual pulsates with the details of surroundings. So even without the obvious context, we plunge headlong. In routine action films, I often just switch off, and miss nothing. I couldn’t take my eyes off the sequences here, breathlessly following each scene. 

Read the review in its entirety here: "Explosive treat".

Starting trouble

Can a sentence begin with "and"? Are you allowed to begin a sentence with "but"? These are two questions I'm asked every year by our new students. And when I tell them, of course you can, they are sceptical. But this is not what is taught in school, they tell me.

What does one of the world's greatest newspapers, The New York Times, have to say on the issue? Yes, you CAN begin sentences with "and" and "but". Writing in a Times blog on usage and style, Philip B. Corbett asserts that “but” is preferable in many cases to the stilted “however,” and “and” is simpler than “in addition” or similar phrases.

Corbett, who is the associate managing editor for standards and also in charge of The Times’s style manual, has compiled, in one post, answers to some of the most common questions regarding grammar, usage, and style, including the following:

• ‘None’: Singular or plural?
• ‘Like’ or ‘Such as’?
• Are split infinitives acceptable?
• Should a sentence ever start with ‘and’?
• Is data singular or plural?
• Where’s the comma?

Follow the blog here: "After Deadline: Notes on Usage and Style".

Also read: "The most comma mistakes", by Ben Yagoda, who is a contributor to "Draft", The Times’s series about the art and craft of writing.

• And you must read "What our newspapers can learn from The New York Times".

Upliftment? UpliftMENT?

OCCASIONAL RANT NO. 3:

In The Times of India Crest Edition of June 23, Purnima Sharma interviews Salima Raza, writer and director of a new play about the great Urdu poet Faiz Ahmed Faiz and his Irish wife, Alys. Here is a quote from the interview:

"Their camaraderie was like a meeting of souls. Alys, like Faiz, was as intelligent, passionate and as committed to love as to their common cause — the upliftment of the poor and deprived, " says Raza.

That should be "uplift of the poor", madam.

• Also read: "Localite vs local; upliftment vs uplift".