An ode to punctuation

From The Commits Chronicle archives: 

COMMATOSE PROSE

Ajay Kurpad (Class of 2011) thought he and the rest of the batch were losing their marbles as I took the class though the basics of punctuation. Here’s his angst-ridden “ode” to punctuation:

Forgot your punctuation? Stop hyphen-ventilating. You just have semi-colon cancer. You are not running a 100-m dash. After all, your feet are like ellipses.
If you have a period (pun intended), then you must have read the wrong Commasutra. Brackets are barricading your mind and are trying to colonise you.
People will put a question mark on your mental stability now. The apocalyptical apostrophe’s apostle is out to slash you. So don’t forget your punctuation.

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