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Thursday, November 24, 2011

How to avoid "speed bumps" when including designations in your stories

Here is a quote from the latest issue of Bloomberg Businessweek:


“Right-of-way policies are just convoluted,” says Kunal Bajaj, director for India at Analysys Mason, the London consulting and market research firm. “You have to speak to between 10 and 20 different agencies for every route.”

In many Indian publications, that quote would be written in this fashion:

“Right-of-way policies are just convoluted,” says Kunal Bajaj, director, India, Analysys Mason, London. “You have to speak to between 10 and 20 different agencies for every route.”

Notice the difference? Aren't the "speed bumps" in Kunal Bajaj's designation in the second instance enough to give readers a headache? Will they then continue to read the story?

Something to think about, I hope.

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Here are more "designations" from the Economist:

David Johns, chief information officer at Owens Corning, a building-materials maker, is full of praise for TCS....

Jagdish Rao, a technology chief at Citigroup, says most of the consulting work TCS has done so far has been on systems TCS had built or implemented itself. Tom Rodenhauser of Kennedy Information, which studies the consulting industry, agrees that it has yet to make a breakthrough in high-end work.

Amar Naga, the boss of the Milford facility, admits that consulting proper is so far just 2.6% of TCS’s revenue.

Read the Economist story on TCS in its entirety here: From Mumbai to Midwest.